Well, as per usual I have not been good about blogging. I have a backlog of outfit photos to show you but so little time to put together proper posts. I may have to lump several outfits together to catch up!
It’s been a rough few weeks in my mind, hence the lack of posts. Still struggling with feeling uninspired, worrying about the future, and not feeling like I’m good enough in general. Fortunately I have wonderful people in my life to help me in times like this, so I’m on the up and up for now. But I’m struggling with how hard it is to let those worries go. I have this odd fear that if I stop worrying so much I won’t be as motivated, that I’ll fall behind. Ironically it is precisely these worries that hold me back from improving. It’s a vicious cycle. It truly is difficult to just let go and trust that things will be okay even if I’m not controlling every last detail. Not being in control is about the most terrifying thing for a perfectionist like myself!
Unfortunately it’s a lesson I need to learn as there is so much that is out of the realm of my control. I can’t turn back time, I can’t predict the future, I can’t make choices for other people, hell, I don’t even have control over my own health. For those of you who don’t know, I have several chronic illnesses, namely Crohn’s disease and anemia. Even when I take my meds, eat properly, sleep and so forth, I could end up in the hospital. And that’s frustrating. I’ll leave further discussion of illness for another post (let me know if you have any questions, I would be happy to answer them) but accepting that there is only so much you can do and the rest is up to, I don’t know, luck, fate, the gods, or whatever you choose to believe, pretty much sucks.
I know learning to let go is a lifelong process. Something that takes time and patience, which I sorely lack. But letting go in baby steps is the way to go and I am slowly understanding that.
Denim dress – Target
Flower crown – DIY
Silver heart bracelet
Silver chandelier earrings – Francesca’s, gift from my sister
White infinity scarf – Charlotte Russe
As always, thank you so much for reading my ramblings! Wishing you a wonderful week! xo