Oh my, it has been a long week. A long, tired, uninspired week. And unfortunately it isn’t over yet.
I’ve been listening to Kerrigan & Lowdermilk’s “The Bad Years” on repeat lately. My favorite version is Jay Armstrong Johnson singing it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCBp6gKfDW8. I don’t think these are necessarily “the bad years,” but sometimes that title feels pretty accurate! In reality this is just an off week or month or what have you. But how do you shake yourself out of that funk? If you have any suggestions, do let me know, because I’m ready to feel inspired again!
In dance improvisation (my absolute favorite class this semester), we started last class with a free writing exercise. For three minutes, you write, you write, you don’t stop writing. It’s always very cathartic. And honest. There’s no time to edit your words, your self, your essence. It all goes back to questioning who I am and who I want to present to the world. Exercises like these really show who I would be if I didn’t edit my life…under the read more at the end of this post you’ll find a free writing exercise from just now. If you want unedited, there you go.
Now to fix the uninspired…
Polka dot skater skirt – River Island from ASOS
Studded platforms – Target
Crop top – Altered from Goodwill for my Kim Possible costume last year!
Ignore my face. Included this photo for the closer version of the necklace.
Today’s outfit is nothing spectacular, as it has been a Sunday full of errands, homework, and feeling a bit under the weather, These thrifted polka dot pants and Old Navy sweater did keep me comfortable and warm for the first day of autumn!
As my Sunday is coming to a close I’ve been musing a bit about strength. Not sure why, it was just on my mind. I am always aiming to be stronger: be a stronger performer, have stronger willpower, a stronger mind, physical strength to help with dancing. But “strength” often has a very specific connotation. First image that pops into my mind when I think of strength is an armored, invincible superhero. Yet when I dig deeper, that isn’t what strength is at all, and I think it’s somewhat problematic that that image is what we associate with strength.
In my attempts to become stronger, I end up putting up walls, isolating my “good” characteristics and putting those on display while choking down whatever isn’t so pretty. Strength aligns itself with perfection, for me, and soon becomes something unattainable, something to obsess over. Really, strength should be much simpler than what I make it out to be…which makes it more challenging to acquire in my convoluted mind. True strength is vulnerability. True strength is acceptance – both of yourself and those around you. It isn’t all slaying dragons and saving the world.
I know this is an incredibly random blog post, it all sort of ties into who I want to be and who I want the world to see, something I think about a lot. Probably a bit too much. One of my professors recently pointed out that I choose what parts of me I show to people, rather than being a complete version of me. I edit myself into what I think others want to see, masking the negatives. And this holds me back. Not being a complete version of myself doesn’t allow me to reach my full potential.
I so desperately want to do the most I can, be the best I can, but it is challenging. Challenging to let go of trying to be perfect. It takes strength to accept that I have many an imperfection and that’s okay. Strength that I don’t have yet. But I’m aiming to become stronger.
Spare a hype?
Hype on Lookbook
This week has been a long one. It’s not quite over, as I still have filming, rehearsals for Frog Prince and Comedy of Errors, and homework to do before I can sleep. Fortunately, this weekend should be nice as my parents will be in town tomorrow for Parent’s Weekend! Looking forward to that after surviving this week.
One month of junior year done…
Comic Dress – Wet Seal
Combat Boots – Charlotte Russe
Heart Glasses – GoJane
Earrings – StyleLately
Spare a hype?
Hype on Lookbook
Well I’ve bought into the comic book craze. A bit late, perhaps, but how could I resist such a fun trend?
I wouldn’t necessarily describe myself as a comic book girl. I’d love to read more but it can be so overwhelming deciding where to start. Any suggestions are welcome! As for comics I actually do read, I am a huge Archie fan. Love, love, love Veronica and Betty. Lusting after the MAC collection that’s out now. I’m also fond of Scooby Doo, but prefer the show to the magazines. Other than that, I’ve mostly read X-Men and plenty of manga. I recently caught up with Crepsucule after a long break and now I’m desperate for an update!
Really though, as much as I’d love comic or manga suggestions, I’ll be hard-pressed to find the time to read them. This week has been crazy and it’s only the beginning. I’ve taken on a lot of projects this semester…perhaps too many. But I’d much rather be too busy to breathe than have oodles of free time! Hopefully my many commitments don’t bite me in the arse…we’ll see!
I broke out the rain boots yesterday to avoid being caught in a monsoon like last week. Fortunately my rainbow attire kept the rain at bay! My Monday was fairly nice, though you might not guess it from these pictures. Apparently I was all about the crossed arm poses. But anyway, it was a busy day full of classes, planning, and the first read-through of Comedy of Errors! Today is going to be even busier though, with classes, Dean’s Council commitments, and rehearsals from 8am to 10pm. Ahh the semester is finally getting into full swing. Hopefully I’m not in over my head!
Hope you all have a wonderful (and slightly more relaxing) day!